Why Give Nyra the Rod

Home is the cradle of virtue, the place where character is formed and habits are established. – Gordon B. Hinckley

I admit, my husband and I are advocates of “giving the rod” to children as part of disciplining them. 

I know, there had been a lot of studies saying that spanking your children won’t help them at all. But, I believe otherwise. Because I stand on what the Bible says: 

Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭13‬:‭24‬ NIV)

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭22‬:‭15‬ NIV)


Discipline cannot be divorced from the context of a strong, healthy love bond between a parent and a child. 

I just finished giving the rod to Nyra, before I started this blog entry. I felt like the need to share my thoughts in implying discipline to our children. Because, as parents, we have a major role on what character that will be built on our children. 

So, why give the rod? Why not just let them be and do what they want? Anyway, as they grow, they’ll eventually learn that what they’re doing is wrong? 

Well, I don’t know with you, but for me, I just can’t let my daughter grow up without even knowing what is wrong and what is right. I can’t just let her pinch or hit her cousins just because of selfishness (not sharing toys with them). I just can’t let her give into impatience (not being able to get right away what she wants). I can’t let her disrespect me or anyone else. Why? Because I love her that much, that I just can’t let that happen. I want her to grow up with values. I know that she won’t be perfect, but I want her heart to be aligned with God’s heart. 

So, will the rod make your children perfect, sinless, flawless? 

Absolutely, not. But it will help our children realize that what they did is something that won’t be beneficial to them (given that it will cause them pain), something that would cause a consequence, something that is unacceptable. 

A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭29‬:‭15‬ NIV)

So, does that mean we can give the rod anytime, anywhere? 

Parents, we give the rod not because we’re angry. We must do it out of love and not out of frustration. That is why, it is but important to talk to your child after giving the rod. We must explain and make them understand why we did give them the rod. Because the goal here is not behavior transformation but a heart transformation. 

Make sure to do it immediately, right after the wrong action. But where do we do it? What if we are not at home, like we’re in the mall? Now, parents, may you be at home or outside, do it in a private place. If at home, you can lock yourselves inside your room, where no yaya, or other people might see. If in the mall, one tip from our Pastor is, you can make use of the comfort room for the disabled or the parking lot (inside your car of course…hahaha).  Of course, we need to also consider the pride or dignity of our child. We don’t want them to be embarassed in front of others, diba? 

One more thing, do not hit them on any parts of their body. That’s a no-no. You can give them the rod on their butt or pwet only. 

So, how soon can we give the rod to our children? 

As early as possible. As soon as we see the rebellion in our children. That would be the perfect time for us to start. While we, parents still have greater control over them, because as they age, the lesser our control would be. (It will be very awkward, if you ‘ll start giving the rod to your 21-yr old son, won’t it?). You might say, but they’re too cute to be hurt. But admit it, no matter how adorable or cute they are, there will always be this sinful nature in them na hindi natin maintindihan kung saan nila natutunan. 

Ika nga nila: habang maaga pa, putulin na ang sungay. 😁 

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (‭Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭11‬ NIV)

I am not a perfect parent as much as I am not a perfect wife. But here’s the logic why I’m doing what I’m doing: 

The Lord disciplines those He loves. I love my daughter. So, I guess it is just right to discipline her to become a better person, right? 

   
 
Anyway, here is Nyra after giving her the rod. ☺️

18 thoughts on “Why Give Nyra the Rod

  1. I can’t imagine giving my daughter the rod, ever. Probably because I grew up never getting one either. I don’t exactly believe in having to resort to the rod – the partner and I try our best to talk calmly but seriously with our toddler. During those rare times she does have tantrums, we let her cry out until she calms down and listens to us. I think giving her those timeouts would be effective for her.

    But then again, to each his own… we all have our parenting styles and I respect you for that. 🙂

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  2. I too for the same reasons as you do the same disciplining routine at home… But if we’re out at the mall for example, what we do is to just let her have her tantrums and after she has finished, we talk to her about why we didn’t give her this or that…

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  3. I also used rod with Little Kulit if sobra na if he don’t like to listen and he really did something wrong. Mahirap din super spoiled ang bata. I have to admit that I spoil him since he is y only child but he needs to have a discipline also kasi in the near future ako din mahihirapan

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  4. I admit I go for the rod to discipline too, at times. Though mostly I just do the “monster mom” voice . Hehe I just talk it out, with a firm voice, and I always encourage my kids to respond, no matter their age. More of a discussion for me about what they did, not just a sermon.

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  5. I don’t do the spanking and let my husband do it. For us kasi, there should be one parent who should discipline while the other one should do the comforting and all. But there are times when I spank my eldest because of bad behavior.

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  6. i have yet to use this form of discipline on my child and there are moments when i was on the verge of doing it. but i simply do not have the heart. but, of course, it is a must that we discipline our children and teach them right from wrong. it is, after all, the parents’ responsibility to raise their children as good people.

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  7. I believe there is no perfect way to discipline a child. But I believe, whatever the parents chooses to do to discipline their kid/s should not be questioned. What matters is that we, as parents, should be responsible enough to teach our kid/s what is right and what is wrong — whether using a rod or not. It’s really hard being a parent but with God’s grace, I know we will always be guided.

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  8. We try not to “give the rod” when we discipline our son. But there are times when I give in to my frustration and I truly regret hurting my little child. I want to develop a tighter and more open communication with my child so I can explain his weaknesses, strengths and the importance of respecting others. Thanks for sharing!

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  9. I agree with you. My second daughter is about the same age as yours. Her age is very critical kase ito yung time na masyado silang possessive at selfish. Since I have 3 children, I want all of them to get along and share their toys with each other.

    There’s a temptation to just give in to what they want para matapos na yung tantrums ng bata, but I choose not too pag di siya nakinig sakin the first time. Pinapalo ko anak ko sa pwet habang nakalock kami sa kwarto. After her punishment, I explain to her why I spanked her para magkaron siya ng better understanding of what’s right and wrong.

    I did the same with my eldest daughter, and super bait niya na anak and ate.

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  10. I super agree with you on this 100%. At first, I told my husband that we’ll never spank our kids because I grew up being spanked (naughty me!) and I feel like it did more harm than good. Well, for one, I think the difference is, I got spanked and not talked to afterwards to discuss what I have done wrong etc etc. So if all disciplining fails, we spank and explain that is wrong. That way, he knows why he was spanked. Not because we don’t love him and want to hurt him, but rather to discipline him.

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  11. t has been years since I’ve spanked my kids and I don’t ever see it being able to use the rod anymore, well physically, kasi my hands will hurt na 🙂 But seriously, I give them the rod (disciplinary sermon) daily haha.

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